Early this year, I was honoured to be one of the keynote speakers at the KPMG annual learning extravaganza. In my virtual talk, “The Leader’s Edge – Elevate Your Impact with Coaching Skills,” I highlighted the profound benefits of integrating coaching skills into leadership practices. These skills not only enhance the performance of team members and drive organizational success but also contribute significantly to leaders’ personal and professional growth. I explored three core leadership skills, each offering a unique opportunity to elevate leadership effectiveness and impact.
1. Active Listening
Listening demands that leaders cut through the mental clutter and tune into the subtle layers of conversation beyond mere words. Research shows we have between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts daily, and being present and truly hearing someone is akin to catching a whisper in a downpour. Let’s face it: our minds are as cluttered as the morning peak-hour traffic jam—busy, bustling, and brimming with activity as everyone rushes to work.
For leaders to transform into coach leaders, they must embrace the quiet strength of listening—a skill that is both humble and powerful. By doing so, they unlock potential, not only within their team members but also within themselves, to lead with greater clarity and impact
What Makes This Skill Challenging
To cultivate this essential skill, leaders must carve out moments of stillness amidst the hustle and bustle of their schedules. Avoiding back-to-back meetings creates space for genuine connections and attentive listening when a team member needs a chat. In today’s hybrid work environment, where virtual interactions are the norm, minimising distractions is crucial. By decluttering our digital interfaces and silencing incessant notifications, we foster an environment ripe for meaningful dialogue, making it easier to pick up on verbal and nonverbal cues. Think less multitasking, more multi-hearing.
2. Questioning
Questioning requires leaders to master the craft of inquiry, using thought-provoking questions to uncover deeper insights, inspire introspection, and foster a culture of growth and empowerment within teams. The type, tone, sequence, and framing of the questions matter—it’s not just about what you ask, but how you ask it, like dating.
What Makes This Skill Challenging
Leaders are often eager to add value. Many find it difficult to refrain from giving advice. Some leaders have lamented, “My job is to solve problems, right?” and “Would my team members think I’m not helpful?” I vividly recall one leader telling me that when he adopted a coaching leadership style, one of his close team members approached him, puzzled, and asked, “What’s wrong with you, boss? How come you don’t tell us what to do anymore?” He thought his boss might be under the weather!
There are questions, and then there are coaching questions. Ensure your non-verbal expressions are aligned with your thought-provoking questions. And ask with GOOD intentions. I emphasize “good” as the litmus test of your intention—are you helping your team members open their minds and create new perspectives, or, knowingly or unknowingly, are you making them feel belittled with your questions? I know of leaders who believed that if listeners feel “small,” it reflects their inadequacy and lack of self-confidence and has nothing to do with them. Remember, the power you wield as a leader is like a lightsaber in Star Wars—use it wisely, especially in a hierarchical culture.
3. Empathy
Last but not least, empathy. It requires leaders to understand the perspectives and experiences of their team members, allowing them to build stronger relationships. Yes, empathy has become quite the buzzword today. When I was a young manager, the word “empathy” was as foreign as meatless burgers (which, for the record, can be delicious or disastrous, depending on whom you ask).
Empathy in the workplace is not just a buzzword; it’s a powerful tool for building trust within your team. Whenever you value someone’s opinion or treat them as significant, you strengthen the foundation of trust. Leadership is not just about authority; it’s about trust and respect. You can enhance both by taking the time to understand your team members’ perspectives and accepting their differences.
As a young manager in my late 20s, my empathy levels were admittedly quite low. I was intensely task-oriented, driven by a desire to impress my superiors and stepped on a few toes. The result? Frequent tensions and conflicts with peer departments and disengaged team members. I used to imagine myself donning armour for meetings (the gladiator type), ready to defend my ideas and plans against any criticism. It took years of effort and reflection to improve in this area (sigh).
What Makes This Challenging
When I train leaders in empathy, one of the first hurdles is overcoming the stereotype that empathy is too soft for the work environment. It’s easy to debunk that. There are decades of evidence showing that empathy is a workplace superpower. Employees who believe their organisations, especially their managers, are empathetic tend to call in sick with stress-related illnesses less often, report less burnout, and show higher morale and intent to stay with their organizations. People who feel empathised with are also more likely to innovate and take creative risks.
A Recipe for Effective Leadership
These three core skills may seem straightforward, but mastering them is a journey rather than a destination. It requires consistent and mindful practice. Just like you can’t become a MasterChef like Gordon Ramsay by simply watching him on videos (OMG, his knife skills!), you can’t master these skills overnight. It’s about rolling up your sleeves, applying these skills with your team, and correcting course. And remember, just as you didn’t know how to be a manager until you were promoted to one, you won’t know how to coach until you start practicing them.
Just like you can’t expect to whip up Gordon Ramsay’s signature Beef Wellington (I’m a foodie, as you can tell) without a bit of fire and patience, mastering these coaching skills requires heart and practice. Think of each skill as an ingredient that, when blended correctly, can transform a good leader into a great one.
Call to Action: Pick one skill to focus on this coming week. Set a personal challenge:
- Embrace Silence: Engage in at least one conversation where you resist the urge to give advice.
- Practice Listening: Make a conscious effort to listen more than you speak in the next discussion.
- Seek Common Ground: Initiate a dialogue with someone you usually disagree with. Stay curious about their views and explore what common ground you might share.
Watch closely to see the impact of these actions. What changes do you notice in your interactions and their outcomes? How does shifting your approach sharpen your leadership edge? For more articles on leadership, read more here.
This article is brought to you by Ms Catherine Chai – Founder of Broc Consulting